I remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was a Fall day in 2019. It was right away in the morning after morning milking and morning chores were done. The boys were just about to start up with their harvest for the day when we got the call. The call to tell me my grandma, the one I was closest with, passed away.
So what happens when you’re a family farm, with only family employees, it’s the busiest season of the year and your grandma dies?
Well, I can tell you – the farm kept going. It was a perfect day in early November and the corn crop needed to get out. My dad was with his siblings as they mourned and began the process of planning a funeral. My cousin was prepping the combine for harvest that day.
And as for me, well I got about 15 minutes to myself thanks to my amazing husband and then he was off with the rest of the crew to combine corn and I was with our two young kids who didn’t understand quite what was going on. To say it was one of the hardest days ever is an understatement. As the farmer’s wife I had to stay with the kids. No time for yourself. No time to cry because you also had to help move the boys around for harvest and keep on farming.
The ironic thing about this day is that we were harvesting at the same farm my grandma was born on. Yes. You read that right. She was born on a farm that has now been in our family for over 150 years. This tradition of farming has been in our family for at least that long.
A tradition where no matter what happens, even the death of the matriarch of the family won’t stop what needs to be done on the farm. It is also a tradition of farm women who just keep on trucking. They must take care of the farm, the children, supper, the livestock. All. The. Things. It’s a great characteristic – perseverance, but it can also be a great burden for us as women. We are self-sacrificing, ready to put anything and everything ahead of us. We don’t advocate for what we truly need. What we might require in order to be the best we can be for our family.
Farm women are so strong, even in the hardest situations. But I’m here to tell you, you don’t always have to be. Farming is important, but you being there for your family when they need it is even more important. I promise.
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