It’s taken me nearly 30 years, but I think I’ve finally mastered something – how to be and how to accept that I will never be perfect. I don’t know if it’s genetic (being a type A personality) or if it was influenced by something, but I have always been afraid of failure. I think that’s a lot of us though. We see failure as this big bad thing that will leave us cast out from a group, fired from a job, the black sheep of the family. Whatever it is, it’s definitely scary.
However, over the last 10 years or so and after a panel discussion with company owners at an agency about their failures, it truly hit me. Failure isn’t bad. We all do it. That’s how we learn. But somewhere along the way in my mind that got all jumbled up. So to help others, I’m going to tell you about the three biggest failures of my life. Maybe it won’t make you feel so bad about yours 😉
Motherhood Failure
I know especially as a mom you are always trying to be “perfect”. Give your kids the right snacks, with balanced meals, the right amount of exercise, a strict bedtime routine. For the moms who can accomplish this please tell me your secret! As for me, and especially as I added more kids it all became more and more of a jumbled mess. You had goals, but many times you settled for feeling sane. And it has truly felt amazing to tell my story and have other moms express that it has happened to them. It shows we are all human and perfection is way overrated.
The Story
My son (third kid) was the biggest adjustment to my life. Partially because he didn’t sleep, had a lot of medial pieces (excema, allergies, low weight gain, etc). So there were extra doctor’s appointments, a lot of sleepless nights, tons of sickness because it was right when we had gotten out of COVID so all the normal sicknesses were making their way around. It was also stressful trying to learn to be a mom of three and my workload was too heavy to bear on my own, but being a farm kid I put my nose to the grindstone and did it. Even if that meant working late into the night and feeding my son in between.
Get the picture? Have you been there? No sleep. Extreme stress. Anxiety through the roof. Pure madness.
So I was picking my daughter up from her friends house and she asked if she could come swimming at the YMCA with us (which is where we were going next). This was the first time I would have another kid with me that wasn’t mine. My brain was so focused on her and getting to the pool on time to meet my sister. It was about a 10 minute drive from my daughter’s friend’s house to the pool. We got there, again, my brain focused on the two girls. We get in, get dressed, go to the pool, meet my sister and she says “Where’s Weston?”
Panicked I ran as fast as I could scared to death something had happen to Weston because guess what? I had left him in the car by himself. I had totally forgot my own son!
Man, did I feel horrible. Worst mom of the year award right there. Thankfully it was in the Fall so the 5-10 minutes he was out there didn’t have any effect on him. But my mind did begin to wander: What would have happened if it was in the summer? What if my sister hadn’t of met us there and asked about him? What would people think if they would have found him? It was so stressful and a HUGE failure on my part as a mom.
Honestly, it did change my outlook in a huge way from that day on. I needed to speak up a bit more for myself (get the sleep, take the time to decompress, etc) so I could have clear head. Well as clear of one a mom with 3 kids can have. And to truly put my family first. I was trying to please so many people, organizations, companies, etc. I needed to start saying NO. And that’s just what I did. Oh and give myself a little, okay a lot, of grace!
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