Extended Family: Don’t Complain – Make It Happen

Being a mom is hard, rewarding, but hard. You are always thinking about what’s best for your family. What is going to be best for my kids? How is that going to affect my kids? Am I doing enough for my kids or my family? No matter what it is it always goes back to your kids.

So when outside family comes in and says “I haven’t seen the kids in forever.” Or “I never get to see them.” It is hard not to go into a tailspin, at least for me, to feel awful at first and then angst.

As a mom I’m over here trying to do everything for my family, for my kids – making sure they are fed, clothed, have supplies for school, brush their teeth, go to bed on time and the list goes on and on. I don’t have time or the mental to make sure that you are seeing them often. That you are involved in their life. That’s not on my list of requirements for my children. I don’t keep track of the last time you saw them or talked to them.

So two things I want my extended family to know.

1. Don’t complain – make it happen.

If you want to be a part of their lives, do it. Don’t complain or try and make me feel bad about it, make it happen. Go to their soccer games. Ask to take them for some time (trust me this momma could use a break.) I would even say it’s more on you to be involved than on me to keep you involved. So ask me when the dance concert is or ask me if there is a night you can take the kids. Involvement goes both ways.

2. You’re extended family.

As much as I love all of my extended family, after having kids that’s what you become. Sorry if that’s harsh, but as a mom I need to focus on my family and my family’s needs first. So trying to keep you up to date without being asked is daunting and stressful. So please understand how my priorities shift after becoming a mom and respect that.

If you’re hoping to see my kids, have my kids know who you are, then please don’t complain to me – work with me to make it happen. I definitely want my kids to know all of their extended family.