Caring for Calves and Kids

What do you think the hardest work for a mom or even a woman to say is? No? Saying no to her kids? Truly, I believe it’s uttering the word “Help.” Asking “Can you help me?”

As a farm-raised farm wife and mom, growing up you were instilled a hard dose of responsibility and figure out how to get it done. Are these bad things? Absolutely not. In fact, I truly believe it’s what makes agricultural kids a hot commodity in the job market. They know we have honed these skills since birth. So it’s not so much in our nature to ask for help. We just buckle down and get the job asked of us done – with side effects to our family, friends or self.

            But this history is why it is so hard for me to say “Help.” I think even if you weren’t raised on a farm, these are hard words to utter for a mom. Why? Because you feel like you are the one who has to take care of everything in the household (even though you don’t). Or you feel like you’re a mom now and you are supposed to have all the answers. Maybe it’s because you don’t want to be a burden or invade on someone’s day by asking them for a favor.

Yup, I’ve used all those excuses before (and not just once). But after each of my three kids I’ve gotten a little bit better about saying those words. Are they still hard? Absolutely. But I’ve come to realize I don’t have all the answers when it comes to parenting, mothering, being a wife, running a farm, working full time and all the other pieces on my resume.

            I definitely hate being a burden to others, but I’ve learned they love for me to ask help because they don’t know how to help in the best way unless I tell them. For those situations I’ve found it goes both ways! And those male/female stereotypes need to simply go away. Just because I’m the woman doesn’t mean I need to do all the housework, but it does mean letting go of how I want the housework done and when. (My husband’s dishes and laundry piles go a little taller than I’d like, but he has stepped up and helped me out in those areas and I appreciate it!)

            And for the husband’s out there, when a woman finally gets the courage to say “Help.” Do it and do it fast. Don’t tell her she can do it or it’s going to be fine. It’s probably been months that she has wanted to tell you that she is drowning in maintaining all the schedules and keeping up with meals, laundry and dishes. I mean it’s hard for superwoman to admit maybe she’s not all superwoman. So please don’t be a man of encouragement but be a man of action. Help her find a solution. Help her find ways that you can split some of the responsibilities.

            “Help” is truly the hardest word wives and moms will have to utter, but the more you do it, the easier it will get and you will start to see how asking for help doesn’t mean you are weak or a failure. You’ve just learned to know your limits and have embraced your village around you 😊