Your Plate is Your Plate, No Matter How Full

A common statement I hear is “Well that’s nothing compared to what’s on your plate.” Or I hear “That’s nothing compared to what you are going though.” And don’t get me wrong I’ve also said these over and over too. It’s something us women tend to do because we don’t want to seem like all we do is complain or are doing a “woe is me” routine.

But in fact, we open up and share whatever is said before that because we feel that person is a safe space for us to share our hopes and dreams with. A place where we can find similarities and be together in the same space.

And one day I was complaining about my 3 kids and just all the crazy that comes with them to a good friend of mine. She had multiple miscarriages and had a daughter in the NICU so I said, “But it’s nothing compared to you.” And I will never forget what she said to me, “That doesn’t matter. What’s heavy to us is what’s heavy to us. We don’t have to compare ourselves to others because we all carry the hard differently.”

Man was I shocked. Here is the mom, who has been trying to have kids and I’m complaining about my kids and she just looks at me with kind eyes and says “It’s okay.” “That’s alright.” It truly amazed me. But just as I said, she was my safe space. I knew I could say whatever was on my mind and it was all going to be okay. She would be that space I could vent and I would feel better and there would be no judgement.

She put me at ease that day and helped me realize that the weight of everyone’s hard is different and we all carry it differently. What’s hard for you doesn’t equate or even relate to the hard in my life. If it’s hard for you, that’s okay. Your friends and families are people you can turn to, can trust and can feel safe when you life gets hard.

So friends, please don’t ever feel that you aren’t allowed to complain and or your hard is too hard to share with anyone else. We as people need to express that so that our head and heart can move into a place of understanding and can work out those hurricane of feelings swirling around.